About Me

I REALLY wish we did not have to meet like this. 

Well, that is my name anyway. As far as who I really am, or, what makes me ME. That has not yet been decided. See, I thought I knew how to answer that. I thought I knew a lot. That was until my wife Kim unexpectedly passed, leaving my 4 year old daughter and I here to figure out what was next. As a happily married dad who thought he knew it all, I found out I had no idea about life, death, or anything before and after, which I get into in my posts.

This blog is a recollection of my journaling I have done since her passing. I will not go into dates, because when it comes to grief, there is no timeline. Everyone walks this walk at a different pace. I do not want someone to read a post here and think, “Gee, he was able to go to a park and laugh after so many weeks and I cant get out of bed. What’s wrong with me?”. Dealing with grief, one encounters so many different views, opinions, suggestions, clichés, and “help”.

Which reminds me. I should tell you why I’m even writing this. Well, I guess there are four reasons:

The first, is for my daughter, Ava. She is growing fast, and as my memories may fade, hers may also. The best gift I can give to her when she is older, and one day a long time from now that I am no longer am here, is the ability to read her dad’s words and know what her parents gave to her. Who they were. How much her coming into this world saved them both.

Second, I write this for Kim, my wife, whom I will honor and cherish to my last breath. She was a selfless person whose smile lit up any room. She sacrificed so much through her whole life, and all she ever wanted to do was be her best self. She will always inspire me to be better and not step backwards.

Which leads me to number 3, myself. By writing, I find myself reflecting, evolving, and finding peace and strength in ideas I did not know are in my mind. Not long after her passing I began journaling and it was through those writings that I connected with my support system of friends and family, and also with myself. The seeds of confidence were planted allowing me to get this far.

Lastly, I write this for you. I do not know who will land on this page, but if you are not currently grieving, it is safe to say that at some point you probably will be. Like one of the many “Grief Clichés” state, there is no handbook, and this is definitely not my attempt at one. I do hope though, that it inspires you like my wife inspired me. I hope it shows you that in any dark time, there can be light, but it’s up to you to open your eyes to it. It’s there, you just have to keep looking.