It has been a little while since I have been back here writing.

2021 was a year of continued change and adversity. After Kim passed in 2019, I spent a few months out of work before returning. During that time away I spent every minute during the day planning and caring for Ava, and when she went to sleep, I read, watched spiritual and religious documentaries about life, and I wrote… alot. 

I went back to work after a leave of absence in 2020. My job at the time was a demanding schedule for a 24 hour a day business. During my time back at work, my assigned territroy was relocated, requiring me to commute far too much so I left my job of 8 years for a new venture. A few months into the new job, I had to have my gall bladder removed. I was traumatized to have a surgery. What if something happened? How could I do this to Ava? I begged and begged God to protect us, and He did. When I returned from surgery, I was told my work schedule was changing, and now it was basically not possible for me to work there and be a sole parent of a 6 year old. So that summer of 2021, I was forced to resign to care for my daughter. 

It was easilly the most frightening thing I had to do. I’ve always worked, A LOT. The fear of “what’s next” was a lot. I began working some side jobs for income where I could while I continued to look for a suitable job that would allow me the flexability I needed. 

As we entered the fall and the 2 year anniversary of Kim’s passing, I felt very down. They say grief comes in waves, but sometimes it comes like a tsunami. As I worked at processing everything, more uneasy health news. Nothing God can’t handle, but nonetheless, I refocused my free time on my diet and exercise. At the end of the day, there are only so many hours in the day and I just began writing less. 

The beauty of writing is that it can be very therapeutic, but, it can also force you to sit in some very difficult moments and memories. One thing I always intended on doing was helping others who are on this road I am on. When Kim passed, I looked out for resources for families with children who lost a parent. Though there were some great groups, there was not anything local. I was fortunate that I had time off of work at the time so I brought Ava to these groups and made the 45 minute commute each way, but I thought about all of the people who werent able to do this. My desire was that maybe one day I could help bring that type of support closer to home.

So here we are.

I am proud to say that recently I had my first meeting with an organization to secure some space for bi weekly meetings to begin a grief support group here in Fall River, MA. My goal is to start an in person support group, and within 8 weeks, begin allowing children ages 4 and up, to attend a kids workshop that runs alongside the adult group. This is a process, but I ned to help get support to those who need it. I thank God for my family and friends I had with me daily, but there are so many people struggling that do not have that. I envision a program where not only can we assist families here, but perhaps down the road, running a Zoom version for those in other communities as well. I have lots of ideas, but right now, I am at the NEW starting line. This is a different road with a different goal As I continue down the road of learning to live without my wife and Ava’s mom, I want to try to take to do something, in her memory, to help others in a way I was helped. 

Grief does not ever go away. You do not cure it. You treat it, with understanding, compassion, and support. It is different for everyone, but those struggling with it know how important those 3 things are. I will be honored to share those with everyone I meet on this road. 

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